February 22nd, 2010 by admin
We all know that everyone is different, right? We do things for our own reasons, we think our own thoughts and we privately wish that everyone else in the world was just like us so that the world would make some sense. Okay, maybe not. But we do live and become frustrated because we expect people to do things for the same reasons we do and not do things for the reasons we don’t. We show love and expect it to be taken as such and we give an apology believing the other person will see our deep sincerity. Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Danger! Danger! Warning! People are different – we know it but we don’t live like it is true.
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February 14th, 2010 by admin
Have you ever tried to tell someone something that you knew they would be hurt by or take the wrong way? Of course you have, and so have I. Being misunderstood is a common pariah. We all hate it and yet we often can’t finish a sentence without the other person: falling apart, or jumping in, or getting defensive, or even running away. How do you get someone to actually hear what you have to say? In a previous article, “How to Say Anything to Anyone”, I disclosed the secret of showing concern for the person you are speaking to and had having compassion for them. This time I share authorship with my beautiful wife Carol who came up with “taking the power out” of what you are going to say so that the other person doesn’t get defensive but listens and actually hears what you intended them to hear –the way you meant it.Have you ever tried to tell someone something that you knew they would be hurt by or take the wrong way? Of course you have, and so have I. Being misunderstood is a common pariah. We all hate it and yet we often can’t finish a sentence without the other person: falling apart, or jumping in, or getting defensive, or even running away. How do you get someone to actually hear what you have to say? In a previous article, “How to Say Anything to Anyone”, I disclosed the secret of showing concern for the person you are speaking to and had having compassion for them. This time I share authorship with my beautiful wife Carol who came up with “taking the power out” of what you are going to say so that the other person doesn’t get defensive but listens and actually hears what you intended them to hear –the way you meant it.
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February 9th, 2010 by admin
We all have thoughts that seem to take on a life of their own in our heads. For some of us they are negative, destructive thoughts that have been with us since childhood. Dad may have called you bird legs or a teacher in frustration said you were stupid. What they said not only stuck [...]
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February 4th, 2010 by admin
Do you have rough housing kids and someone seems to always get hurt? Have you ever had a defiant (or any) child who really needed to listen in an emergency. Have you ever needed your child to stop arguing and listen and do what you ask them to do? If it has happened to you [...]
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January 24th, 2010 by admin
What do you want to do? I don’t know, what do you want to do? Sound familiar? I know that I personally have said it and heard it more times than I can count. What’s more is that people come to my office and have the same issue – and it can cause some serious [...]
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January 21st, 2010 by admin
I have worked with some pretty rough characters – time in prison, addicts, even murders. I sometimes have to say things to people that they don’t want to hear. I have said things to people who might have killed me in return for my words – but they didn’t. I want to share with you [...]
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January 17th, 2010 by admin
Balance is something we all strive for but usually sabotage every single day. It would be so much easier if we were back in Kindergarten sitting on one end of the teeter-totter – there we could balance or practice give and take with another child. Of course there were the kids that would jump off [...]
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January 13th, 2010 by admin
I have talked about getting people to listen, time outs and the rules of engagement. Today I am going to give you ten signs that the person you are talking to is flooded or overwhelmed and if they don’t calm down there may be trouble. They are at least not listening to you. Some of [...]
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January 7th, 2010 by admin
Someone not listening to you can be frustrating, but there is a lot for you to consider about why they might not be listening and what you can do to help. This article looks at overwhelmed communication, distracted communication and over the phone communication – offering practical approaches to getting your message across so that it will be heard and remembered.
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January 6th, 2010 by admin
Learn how to communicate so that others will understand – when you are angry or overwhelmed is a fine place to defend yourself but not in a relationship you care about. Learn the ground rules that will enable you to have healthy, productive time-outs that allow issues to actually get resolved.
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